The Sad Exit
There are people in our lives, who “die” for us, long
before they literally do so. First their presence is becoming scarce, then when
you meet them the conversations dim, the time you are spending with them on the
phone thins out and the conversations
are diluting to almost nothing...until one day, that's it , there is nothing
more to be done : they are gone !!!
Some of the reasons this can happen are slipping our
hands, like being too far away , or you are moving on in your career or adding
members to your family , having new kids or having successful kids when they
have failure ones, changing professions, being an only child and being the
caretaker for your aging parents....
One of the reasons for losing a friend, is when they are
divorcing or becoming widowers. When they suddenly become singles, first you
try to continue meeting them with your partner, the way it was done before, but
your spouse is slightly getting "bored" to have no "male"
interaction so you start meeting your
friend alone , but , after a while, then you feel like you betray your
companion by letting them " out of the loop".
But the saddest thing, and it just happened to me a
couple of months ago, is when they become ill themselves and they start to act
different. You want to "be there" for them , but somehow you are left
outside , as immediate members of the family, kids, brothers and sisters , get
involved helping them , and you cannot reach them anymore. Calls are not
answered, e- mails are ignored, your messages are not replayed .What's to do?
Their program is changed, they don't work, they have different schedules, and
the treatments leave them frail for gatherings, events. They don't call to say
happy birthday, you cannot invite them to your joyous events, as you don't
reach them and anyway it's superfluous to be happy when someone isn’t. You
don't want to be a pest.A few months later, you are eventually told that they
had surgery, or a long chemotherapy series of treatments, but they are tired to
meet you, or have some common activities. They resent you not being there for
them, when they needed you, you feel you were left out of the loop...It's not
the same as before, it's the end of your friendship.
Nothing lasts forever , but sometimes ties are cut at
moments when you least expected, life is taking you by surprise !
